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[testflight]

@larry.trainor | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[realists]

I hadn't.

Someone at work mentioned it and I wasn't listening so I said yes I had one.

Now I have to make a list.

[ of things to do before she died, which she already has. she can't say that to her coworkers though. ]

[testflight]

What are you going to put on it?

[realists]

I don't know.

I'm already dead. Sort of defeats the purpose of the list.

[testflight]

You're not dead here.

[realists]

I know.

Still hard to wrap my head around sometimes.

[testflight]

I know what you mean.

[realists]

I'm not sure I know what normal people would put on a list.

Mine would be

1. Don't die again.
2. Don't go to prison again.
3.

[ 3. ???????? ]

[testflight]

Add places you want to see.

I think that's normal.

[realists]

That's smart.

What would you put?

[testflight]

"Don't be afraid."

[realists]

[ oh, larry. ]

A good reminder.

[testflight]

[ he has far fewer reasons, here, and yet —

it's difficult to shake. ]

You'd think so.

[realists]

What are you afraid of?

[testflight]

[ the answer takes time, less because he isn't willing to tell her and more because

what isn't he afraid of? ]

Hurting people. People dying because of me. Making things worse. Being alone.

[realists]

[ why does she ask questions she is ill-equipped to deal with. jyn isn't the nice one, she is bad at comfort, she makes it worse instead of better, but she can't leave larry on read and she can't ignore the answer, either. ]

You're not alone. You have me.

[testflight]

[ it's

sweet. she isn't, but this is. it's sweet and it's wonderful and it doesn't lessen the fear any.

what if he's the reason she gets hurt? she dies again? ]

Maybe I shouldn't. It'd be better, for you.

[realists]

Huttshit.

I've spent my whole life getting left behind because it was better for me. It isn't better, it's never better.

It only makes you feel like you're not good enough.

[testflight]

That's not it.

[ but ]

I'm sorry.

[realists]

Don't apologize, you haven't left me.

What is it?

[testflight]

People get hurt around me. People die.

[realists]

I understand.

[ she's too much of a coward to demand he stay friends with her anyway because she has the self-worth of a moulding kumquat, evidenced by her outburst, so she mentally backspaces through whatever else she was writing to leave it at that.

it's true, at least. ]

[testflight]

I don't want anyone to.

Die, I mean. Not understand.